Boundaries are Important
Boundaries are important in the therapeutic relationship, so I thought I would write a short blog about them. As they extend outside of the counselling room and are much needed and important in our day-to-day existence. Self-care comes from setting boundaries and stems from being self-aware, some examples of boundaries could be.
Not wanting to be spoke down to, by family or friends
Creating and maintaining your own personal space
Choosing who you decide to spend time with
Having home life work balance
Cutting toxic people out of your life
Boundaries are very personal to us as an individual, so you can set a boundary around things that are important to you. Start simple and make them statements of intent or value. Boundaries are not there to make you feel guilty, they are there to make you feel more secure. They can change so saying “no” now doesn’t have mean that its set-in stone for the future. As you are allowed to change and be flexible as sometimes you may have to break a boundary, they are there to support you not hinder you. Boundaries are personal and should be an extension of who you are as a person and they should reflect this, meaning that taking on another person’s boundaries because they work well for another person. Doesn’t mean that they will work well for you, they also take practise, and this will make them more effective. Within interpersonal relationships you may find yourself needing to put boundaries in place if another person is making you feel bad, unhappy or the relationship is unhealthy. The boundary could be that you have decided to invest time in relationships which bring you joy and happiness rather then staying within a relationship that doesn’t. In the modern world will are driven by technology and will often be looking at screen, on a mobile phone, laptop an example of a boundary could be that you don’t answer your phone after a certain time (unless it’s an emergency) turn of unimportant notifications on your phone. Unfollow people on social media, or block people that bring you down. Self-care boundaries could be setting aside time for you to partake in a meaningful activity, such as some form of fitness/yoga/ walking. Putting this above everything else, prioritising this (unless there is an emergency). You can also create boundaries around spending and money, this could be setting aside money into your savings account, deciding not to use your credit card/ or getting your balance down. Boundaries can be simple and small or large and grand, but they all start from a place of self-reflection which helps us to become more self-aware.
The Dictionary definition “a line which marks the limits of an area, a dividing line”
